Somebody You’re Not

An insecure man takes on a new persona to impress his date.

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An very nice but insecure man takes on the persona of someone much more exciting than he is in order to impress his date.  Too bad he chose to go to his favorite restaurant, where his favorite waitress is working.


  • Female: 2
  • Male: 1
  • Total roles: 3
Brad Severan
A nice but very insecure man in his mid-40’s. He is single and lonely, searching for love. On the outskirts of good-looking.
Tawny Brie
(Probably not her real name.) A woman straining to stay 30 even as she sees 50 coming over the hill. Her hair, clothes and make-up are impeccable and sexy but overdone. Twice divorced and panicking, although she’d never let on.
Joan Bosaki
A waitress, divorced, mother of 2, hardworking, honest. She is friendly, but doesn’t suffer fools gladly. Fleshy in an appealing way.

Setting & Set Requirements

A table for two in a homey Italian restaurant.


  • 2022 – Theater Southwest, TX


BRAD: Tawny?  (then as AXEL) Tawny?

TAWNY: Tawny Brie, in the flesh.

BRAD (as AXEL): Axel Severan, at your service.  We meet at last.

(He kisses her hand. TAWNY displays herself for him.)

TAWNY: Well, do I pass the mustard?

BRAD: You pass the mustard, the mayo, every condiment on the table.

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