On the Line

A rom-com about Valentine’s Day and suicide.

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A lonely woman calling a suicide crisis line on Valentine’s Day gets a very different response than she was expecting.


  • Female: 1
  • Male: 1
  • Total roles: 2
A lonely woman. She can be played as anywhere between 30’s and 60’s, but should be close to the same age as Joe.
A weary man working at a crisis center. Flexible age, but he should be close to Maureen’s age.

Setting & Set Requirements

Two settings: A living room and a crisis line phone bank.


  • 2013 – Winner Panel Choice Award, Greenbrier Valley Theater, WV
  • 2006 – Winner Audience Favorite, Carrollwood Players, FL
  • 2005 – First Runner Up, Eileen Heckart Drama Competition, OH


  • 2021 – Open Hydrant Theater, NY
  • 2015 – 15 Minute Play Festival, Incheon, S. Korea
  • 2013 – Greenbrier Valley Theater, WV
  • 2008 – International Women’s Day, LA
  • 2008 – Pensacola Little Theater, FL
  • 2007 – Annex Play Festival, MI
  • 2006 – Carrollwood Players, FL
  • 2005 – Taller de Metodo, Venezuela
  • 2005 – 6th Street Playhouse, CA
  • 2005 – Hollywood Fight Club, CA
  • 2005 – UMass Dartmouth Women’s Resource Center, MA
  • 2003 – Heartlande Theater Company, MI
  • 2001 – University of Southern California, CA
  • 2000 – Theater Geo, CA


Joe: Do you think I care about your feelings?  Your feelings are boring, you can’t possibly expect me to take them seriously.  You’re not going to kill yourself.  You’re just lonely and pathetic because all you can think about is your own feelings.  Have you tried thinking about someone else’s feelings?  No, you just want to go blah blah blah, me me me, all day long.  Of course you want to kill yourself, you whiny bitch.

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